Ancient Chinese Secret

I have, at times, prided myself at being like Martha Stewart.  My Momma (you know...we girls from the South call our mothers, "Momma"....) always said to me..."OVER DO EVERYTHING!".  People, she was serious.  The teacher said, "write a book report"...My MOMMA SAID, "Make a costume, recreate recipes from the book, write a play, gather up a chorus and WOW that teacher!!".  I would stand there and say, "Okay, Momma...hold on....do you know a chorus I can get on 24 hour notice?".

And so...over the past 40 years I have "time and time again" over done things and painstakingly lived up to my Southern upbringing until today.  Today was just flat out hysterical...and all Southern girls everywhere are going to gasp, place their hand over their twin-set and say, "Bless her huh-art" when they find out what I did.

My sweet Andrew is a freshman in High School.  He is smart and funny and has had "ANCIENT CHINA" looming over his head since the very first hour of "Honors Geography".  The students had to pick out a country for the first week of school and unbeknownst to us...that country would stick with you through the ENTIRE YEAR.  He chose China...his teacher informed him it would be about "Ancient China".  Good grief.

Two weeks ago he started on a "HOW TO:______________" project for Ancient China.  He told me that HE thought he would write a "How to cook a dinner in ancient China" paper.  Oh, HECK NO!  That's exactly what I said....I could feel this project quickly becoming MY project.  Nope...nope...nope...not gonna even entertain this nonsense.

So, I gently suggested he write a paper about "How to celebrate a year of ancient Chinese Festivals" -
Andrew:  "Thanks, Mom...that's a great idea!"
Me: "Yes...Buddy, I know...I was just trying to dodge the Ancient Chinese Meal bullet."
Andrew:  "Yeah, I know...sorry about that."
Me:  "It's okay, Sweetie..now get to work!"

Fast forward to 3 days ago.  The paper was complete - he had a great paper printed on "coffee soaked and hairdryer dried" ancient Chinese parchment - A beautiful step-by-step Powerpoint presentation on each festival and some music burned onto a CD.  Then he said......"Mom, what about making some food to go with the presentation?"

DOGGONE IT ALL!  Isn't this where we started???

Okay - but to be nice...we talked about food.  We settled on "MOON CAKES" for the Mid-Autumn festival and then I looked up recipes.  What on earth was I thinking?  I can barely find jeans to fit me in this country - let alone sweet bean paste for some Moon cakes that I'm pretty sure I NEVER made while growing up in Kentucky.

AND THIS IS WHEN IT HAPPENED....as Andrew and I talked about what we should do...I started laughing and I said, "I think you should improvise and take good old fashioned Moon PIES....".  Andrew burst out laughing and said, "MOM!!  THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS!!!!"  I said, "Really? Andrew don't do it just because I said it would be funny."  He said, "No...I'm going to do it because it's so freaking hilarious!!"  "ANDREW!  Don't say 'freakin'!!"  "Oh, yeah...sorry..."

AND SO....amid the silent gasps of Southern Momma's everywhere - my baby walked off to school with his "Ancient Chinese Moon Pies" and a totally rockin' report...and he said his teacher just cracked up - ate a Moon Pie and his peers cheered...because they also got to consume Ancient Chinese Moon Pies.

And that's how you OVER DO IT when you are tired, your husband is deployed, the laundry is taunting you from the basement, 3 of your 4 kids are swimming on a swim team, the dog makes your blood boil, you live in a foreign country and Moon Pies are only $5.00!

Bless my tacky little moon pie eatin' heart....