They even LOOK like lucky little children in this picture!
But there are just SO MANY fictional characters to deal with! Let's name them - shall we?
1) THE TOOTH FAIRY
2) THE EASTER BUNNY
Huh....that's not so many. What on earth is my problem? I truly believe it's because Santa Claus just sucks the life right out of me. Last year I FELL DEAD ASLEEP at 11pm and woke up in a panic the size of Russia at 3am - and I stumbled around like a drunk laying out Christmas gifts until 4am...then I drooled all over myself until 7am when the kids leaped out of bed like cattle out of the shoot!
THE TOOTH FAIRY - She must sprinkle "crap I forgot about the tooth" dust all over me as she passes through our houses with her dainty little wings and her skinny little legs and her little gossamer sack full of white little milk teeth. Every time I am supposed to slide my hand under their little pillows and replace their teeth with money - I forget. Literally EVERY TIME. I am drinking my coffee and listening to the birds chirp before it EVER dawns on me. The last tooth that was lost in this house was Emily. She came right down stairs, took my coffee and set it gently on the coaster and said, "Mom, seriously, can I just get your purse for you and you can pay me for my tooth?" Ummmmmm.....what??? Cue the "touching moment" music....."Sweetie, the Tooth Fairy just had so many teeth to gather up and ....." - "Here's your purse, Mom".
Emily's eyes and my eyes met......BUSTED!!! So, forget "the day the music died"....that was the morning that the Tooth Fairy went up in pink, glittery smoke. POOF, just like that....gone.
Bye Bye Tooth Fairy....I hope you enjoyed your time here on Fantasy Island!
Yesterday morning I went in to gently wake Jack up for school. He is so easy to wake up and he rolls over and looks at me, warm and sweet from 8 hours of sleep and he says,
"Momma...I've been thinking about something."
Me: "What, Sweetie?"
Jack: "Well, you know all of those Easter Baskets in the commissary over by the frozen waffles? Well, I was thinking that you better get on over there today and buy mine....... because we BOTH know the Easter Bunny is NOT real....please go buy it before people take all the good ones..."
Me: "Ummmmm....well.....huh? Wait, you don't believe in the Easter Bunny? What on earth is the Easter Bunny going to think?
Jack: "MOM, SERIOUSLY!!! Please get my basket!!!"
Me: "But, sweetie...the Easter Buh....."
Jack: "Mom, PLEEEEEEEEEZE go today....."
Me: "Yeah, well...okay....get up and get ready...."
AND JUST LIKE THAT...the Easter Bunny has joined the Tooth Fairy up in "Imaginary Character Heaven"....(it's right beside Pet Fish Heaven - and down the street from "Hamster Heaven").
POOF....Easter eggs and green grass flying everywhere. Just like that. I have to admit...I didn't see that one comin'....
The Easter Bunny....on a park bench...reading a book...
It's probably called, "When Jack busted up the Dream"....
4 comments:
Love it! I forget the tooth fairy every time too--but that 4 am wake up usually reminds me or I can do the "you tossed your covers around so much it must be here somewhere--oh look" because I still have a believer (she won't be reading your blog!)
What a great post. Our son is 8 and my husband and I wonder how long it will be before he catches on. We figure it has only gone on as long as it has because he is homeschooled and an only child. I came from a family of six kids. My older brothers loved getting the opportunity to "let the cat out of the bag."
Count me in as the mom who always forgets the tooth fairy duties! I also usually get by with the "it must have fallen behind your bed while you were sleeping" routine. Last time I had help remembering, though. My then 7 year old, Grant, pulled his tooth in the bathroom and promptly dropped it down the drain. He was so upset about not having his tooth because everyone knows the tooth fairy only leaves money if there's a tooth to trade in. So he wrote her a very sweet, persuasive note explaining what happened and asked her to "Please go down the drain and get my tooth, please!" The tooth fairy (to Grant's knowledge) obliged and left a glittery note of her own to one very excited boy. :)
Christy, I just about threw up from laughing so hard at this post. I am sorry, but I am going to have to blog about this too! Of course I do not have the gift of humor that you have! :o)
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