First time in FORTY...almost FORTY-ONE Years!

Disclaimer:  This is not the most wisdom filled post.  It's insane.

And so...I have started writing several little posts here and there as we moved from Germany to Maryland and eventually I will share them with you but FIIIIIIRRRRRRSSSSSTTTTTT....I just thought you would enjoy a slice of what truly IS my life.  Things you can't hide...and things you never ever post pictures of.  Yes...you heard me..no photos...and YOU ARE WELCOME!

Our life has been stressful and chaotic since about April 6.  My sweet hubby came home from Afghanistan and the craziness began and only picked up steam.  Please...in your mind...fast forward to today...a little over 4 months later.  For 4 days John has been gone to a conference and I have had 6 children all to myself!  Our 2 neighbor friends from Germany came up to spend the week with us and while it's been LOTS AND LOTS of fun...it's been wild, as well.  Needless to say, my 9 year old boy fits in NO WHERE.  Oh, they try and recruit him for their evil schemes...but mostly they just scream, "MOM!!!  TELL JACK TO LEAVE US ALoooooooooNE!!!!".  "JACK, leave them alone...and can you let the dog out?"  Jack is having a rough time.  Today must have been particularly hard because he came stomping upstairs, arms crossed, face red, scratches on his arms aand he plopped down on the couch REALLY HARD.  

I tried to cheer him up but he said to me, "Mom, stop...how would YOU like it of you were trying to be mad and someone just keep bugging you?"  I should have listened.  That's  all I'm gonna say - I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED.

So, I started tickling him and even though he was laughing..he decided that he would unleash his freakish strength on me.  HOLY COW...that crazy child is like a mutant strong man from the circus!  I was wondering why on earth I hadn't just listened to him and left well enough alone.  And that's when it happened.....he said, "I know what you need....!!!!!"...and that stinker reached down and grabbed my white cotton grannie panties (oh, stop...don't act like you have never worn them...please say you wear them....maybe I've said too much.....) and he pulled them up - hard and I received my first wedgie EVER IN MY LIFE.

I almost died.

Like, seriously...and I suppose that's how my face looked because Jack let go and said, "Ummm...I'm sorry..." and ran away.

That's right little boy...run!!!  You should never mess with a middle-aged woman's "pannies" unless you are ready to face the wrath!

I'm horrified I just told you that - but it's either you or the therapist I'm hiring tomorrow.  

I'm pretty sure my little guy will never do that again - but...just in case...I'm putting on a really tight belt.