My mom and dad came all the way from Kentucky to Germany...just to see me. It's over 4000 miles and by the time you get here...exhaustion.
Pure exhaustion...and jet lag...and dehydration...and leg cramps...and unanswered questions about the quality of airplane food. Seriously, why DOES it have to be so awful? Side note: just give me a Lean Cuisine. It's predictably icky but yet, strangely delicious and filling.
Okay...mom and dad, in their defense, have not come across the pond in 11 years. It can be intimidating...but they came and I have never been so excited in my life. But, friends, this blog is not about the wonderful things we saw and did..it is about ONE DAY of the 13 they were here. One fateful day...
People do not advertise their phobias and rightfully so. Mature, happy people do not feel the need to remind you that certain things unnerve them...or freak them out...or scare them to death. In this edition of, "The awful things Christy did to her parents" we will be discuss my ever well-manned Momma.
We set off to Krun on a Saturday morning. I made sure they had breakfast and had supplies for the day. We drove about 20 minutes and had a lovely day watching the cows tumble and snort out of the mountains and ate a great little lunch at fest tables in the middle of a "gen-u-ine" German festival. So far...so good. The only issue we had was that Daddy wandered off to find a drink in the middle of a German village....but we found him...no emergency there. Then we drove back towards Garmisch (previous blogs will remind you that we are self proclaimed "Garmisch junkies"...we have no issue that we keep going there every time we have a break in Mannheim!) toward the 1936 Olympic Ski Stadium. From there we take a bumpy little horse and carriage ride to the beginning of one of my favorite spots in the world...The Partnach Klamm...translated to...The Partnach GORGE. G-O-R-G-E.......insane rushing water...slippery path made by people who are probably watching from behind some tree to watch you walk in horror...it's a gorge...so you are WAY DOWN by the water...while the sky is WAAAAAAY UP...rocks on both sides...dark, wet caves and in the end....."AHHHHHHH!!!!!! You did it! You didn't die....you got to see some pretty cool stuff and all is right with the world."
Mom, Dad and all of the kids went before me and I noticed that mom had her head down and she was walking as fast as she could. I, on the other hand, was thinking, "Gosh...if you fell it would be all over..." and "Wow...what an amazing display of power in that water." and "God is good...and more powerful than this!!" Mom wasn't thinking that. She never said what she was thinking but when we reached the end her face was white. She was not a happy girl.
"Mom, what's wrong?"
"Nothing...I just hate tight places...and rushing water...and slippery paths...and ........."
"Ummm...."
"But, it's okay. How do we get back?"
"Ummmmm...."
"Do we have to go BACK that way...???"
"Mom, I'm SORRY! I guess I wasn't thinking!!"
The kids chimed in with.."No, you don't have to go back that way...we can hike straight up for 3 hours and then straight down and end up right back HERE or over THERE...or Do you remember that one path we saw back THERE?"
Mom: "That's okay..let's go back."
She was a good sport but I was thinking the entire time..."WHO IS THIS WOMAN?...is she the same person who raised me?...Did someone switch her out with another mom?...Does she wish she was home? What if she falls in and proves me right? OH LORD...what if daddy falls in and she never forgives me?"
KIDS!!! KEEP YOUR RIGHT HAND ON THE WALL AT ALL TIMES!!! DO NOT FALL IN!!! I REPEAT...DO NOT FALL IN!!! JAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! Stop acting crazy!!! I AM SERIOUS BUDDY!!! (Underlying message...Do not prove Mimi right that this is a dangerous activity and should only be attempted when your father is home!!)
Fast forward about 30 minutes. I want to preface this next section with this disclaimer: Usually 2 people can fit on a summer bobsled. In Germany (and beyond) they call it the "Sommerrodelbahn". In a past blog...there is a video for a long and fast sommerrodelbahn that Jack and I were on. They are fun but scary. MOM DOES NOT DO SCARY...not usually.
I assured mom that I would drive the bobsled and not too fast. She just had to hang on. But, it didn't work that way. I bought her a ticket and when we got to the "gettin' on" place...the guy rambled on something in German and pointed to me and ONE bobsled...and momma (now HORRIFIED!!!) and a different bobsled. I said, "Mom...you will be fine...go slow....just go slow..." She was so bewildered that it gave me the giggles....a horrible case of the "oh, my gosh...my mom is going to rip my hair out after this! She is going to really never trust me again (giggle....) She might not speak to me or worse...YELL AT ME...I'm 39...she can't yell at me...(giggle giggle) ....wait...what's THAT?? Oh, no...she is yelling at me now!!!"
I wrenched my body around to see mom being pulled up a mountain on a bobsled...we were being pulled up and at the top it let you loose....You have a hand lever and a bobsled...that's it. Remember...this bobsled track is in the shadow of the 1936 Olympic ski jump site. Oh, my goodness gracious sakes alive....I am so dead for this!
Mom was yelling. Some of it I understood and some of it (thank goodness!!) I did not understand. She was plenty mad....plenty scared and plenty ready to "jerk a knot on my tail". Lord, help us! I made the decision to act like it was all fine and dandy and then thoughts of mom spilling out on the bobsled tracks came rushing to my mind. Not healthy thoughts.... but I was at the top by now and I went down a bit and waited for mom to reach her ill fated doom. She came to the top and yelled, "WHAT DO I DO NOW??????" I yelled (we are a pretty good distance apart) "PUSH DOWN ON THE LEVER BUT NOT TOO HARD!!!!" And here she came....
I just went on down. I couldn't help her now. And, I prayed. I prayed for her safety...but I also prayed for our relationship. I wasn't sure...but this could have been the deal breaker!
If you know my mom...this blog entry is HYSTERICAL. If you don't know her...you feel sorry for her...but in the end the message is...KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE! Mom and Dad in Europe = calm PBSish activities...castle tours...walks through the woods...schnitzel and spatzle and oom-pa-pa bands. NOTE TO SELF: Scratch the gorge and bobsled and any other activity that may kill, paralyze, maim, torture or scare the pee out of them.
Volksmarches - YES! Plunging to their deaths - NO!
Sorry momma and daddy! I love you!
Pure exhaustion...and jet lag...and dehydration...and leg cramps...and unanswered questions about the quality of airplane food. Seriously, why DOES it have to be so awful? Side note: just give me a Lean Cuisine. It's predictably icky but yet, strangely delicious and filling.
Okay...mom and dad, in their defense, have not come across the pond in 11 years. It can be intimidating...but they came and I have never been so excited in my life. But, friends, this blog is not about the wonderful things we saw and did..it is about ONE DAY of the 13 they were here. One fateful day...
People do not advertise their phobias and rightfully so. Mature, happy people do not feel the need to remind you that certain things unnerve them...or freak them out...or scare them to death. In this edition of, "The awful things Christy did to her parents" we will be discuss my ever well-manned Momma.
We set off to Krun on a Saturday morning. I made sure they had breakfast and had supplies for the day. We drove about 20 minutes and had a lovely day watching the cows tumble and snort out of the mountains and ate a great little lunch at fest tables in the middle of a "gen-u-ine" German festival. So far...so good. The only issue we had was that Daddy wandered off to find a drink in the middle of a German village....but we found him...no emergency there. Then we drove back towards Garmisch (previous blogs will remind you that we are self proclaimed "Garmisch junkies"...we have no issue that we keep going there every time we have a break in Mannheim!) toward the 1936 Olympic Ski Stadium. From there we take a bumpy little horse and carriage ride to the beginning of one of my favorite spots in the world...The Partnach Klamm...translated to...The Partnach GORGE. G-O-R-G-E.......insane rushing water...slippery path made by people who are probably watching from behind some tree to watch you walk in horror...it's a gorge...so you are WAY DOWN by the water...while the sky is WAAAAAAY UP...rocks on both sides...dark, wet caves and in the end....."AHHHHHHH!!!!!! You did it! You didn't die....you got to see some pretty cool stuff and all is right with the world."
Mom, Dad and all of the kids went before me and I noticed that mom had her head down and she was walking as fast as she could. I, on the other hand, was thinking, "Gosh...if you fell it would be all over..." and "Wow...what an amazing display of power in that water." and "God is good...and more powerful than this!!" Mom wasn't thinking that. She never said what she was thinking but when we reached the end her face was white. She was not a happy girl.
"Mom, what's wrong?"
"Nothing...I just hate tight places...and rushing water...and slippery paths...and ........."
"Ummm...."
"But, it's okay. How do we get back?"
"Ummmmm...."
"Do we have to go BACK that way...???"
"Mom, I'm SORRY! I guess I wasn't thinking!!"
The kids chimed in with.."No, you don't have to go back that way...we can hike straight up for 3 hours and then straight down and end up right back HERE or over THERE...or Do you remember that one path we saw back THERE?"
Mom: "That's okay..let's go back."
She was a good sport but I was thinking the entire time..."WHO IS THIS WOMAN?...is she the same person who raised me?...Did someone switch her out with another mom?...Does she wish she was home? What if she falls in and proves me right? OH LORD...what if daddy falls in and she never forgives me?"
KIDS!!! KEEP YOUR RIGHT HAND ON THE WALL AT ALL TIMES!!! DO NOT FALL IN!!! I REPEAT...DO NOT FALL IN!!! JAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! Stop acting crazy!!! I AM SERIOUS BUDDY!!! (Underlying message...Do not prove Mimi right that this is a dangerous activity and should only be attempted when your father is home!!)
Fast forward about 30 minutes. I want to preface this next section with this disclaimer: Usually 2 people can fit on a summer bobsled. In Germany (and beyond) they call it the "Sommerrodelbahn". In a past blog...there is a video for a long and fast sommerrodelbahn that Jack and I were on. They are fun but scary. MOM DOES NOT DO SCARY...not usually.
I assured mom that I would drive the bobsled and not too fast. She just had to hang on. But, it didn't work that way. I bought her a ticket and when we got to the "gettin' on" place...the guy rambled on something in German and pointed to me and ONE bobsled...and momma (now HORRIFIED!!!) and a different bobsled. I said, "Mom...you will be fine...go slow....just go slow..." She was so bewildered that it gave me the giggles....a horrible case of the "oh, my gosh...my mom is going to rip my hair out after this! She is going to really never trust me again (giggle....) She might not speak to me or worse...YELL AT ME...I'm 39...she can't yell at me...(giggle giggle) ....wait...what's THAT?? Oh, no...she is yelling at me now!!!"
I wrenched my body around to see mom being pulled up a mountain on a bobsled...we were being pulled up and at the top it let you loose....You have a hand lever and a bobsled...that's it. Remember...this bobsled track is in the shadow of the 1936 Olympic ski jump site. Oh, my goodness gracious sakes alive....I am so dead for this!
Mom was yelling. Some of it I understood and some of it (thank goodness!!) I did not understand. She was plenty mad....plenty scared and plenty ready to "jerk a knot on my tail". Lord, help us! I made the decision to act like it was all fine and dandy and then thoughts of mom spilling out on the bobsled tracks came rushing to my mind. Not healthy thoughts.... but I was at the top by now and I went down a bit and waited for mom to reach her ill fated doom. She came to the top and yelled, "WHAT DO I DO NOW??????" I yelled (we are a pretty good distance apart) "PUSH DOWN ON THE LEVER BUT NOT TOO HARD!!!!" And here she came....
I just went on down. I couldn't help her now. And, I prayed. I prayed for her safety...but I also prayed for our relationship. I wasn't sure...but this could have been the deal breaker!
If you know my mom...this blog entry is HYSTERICAL. If you don't know her...you feel sorry for her...but in the end the message is...KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE! Mom and Dad in Europe = calm PBSish activities...castle tours...walks through the woods...schnitzel and spatzle and oom-pa-pa bands. NOTE TO SELF: Scratch the gorge and bobsled and any other activity that may kill, paralyze, maim, torture or scare the pee out of them.
Volksmarches - YES! Plunging to their deaths - NO!
Sorry momma and daddy! I love you!
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