My Fortress

My momma always credits her being able to raise children to God. She does every time! She has said that when we were "at our worst" (I'm pretty sure she is only talking about Mary and Elizabeth at this point...:)) she heard God speak directly to her saying "Just love them....just love them.". I always think that's so much better than a voice saying "Just kick them out" or "Just sell all of their things and move...". So - my eternal thanks to God for guiding her.

But...I want some answers about something ELSE she used to say. EVERY time something goofy happened she would say..."Christy/Mary/Elizabeth...you are building character." That's it...no other wise little pearls dripping from her lips that made us want to write a book...or compose a song....just "You are building character.". For example: I longed for designer clothes...and I HAD them...but I had two choices. A normal, acceptable amount of "JCPenney clothes....or.....6 items that we paid dearly for the name (or horse or alligator as it may be). Wearing normal clothes was a character builder. Everything we wore did not have to be designer. Another character builder moment: I drove the most awful station wagon EVER...wait...I drove 2 of them. The first was not so bad, just ugly. The second was humiliating! But, I needed a car and my mom and dad were not going to buy me a "look-at-how-cool-I-am" car...station wagon it was. That particular specimen actually caught on fire one day when I drove into my driveway. I came running into the house..."DAD!!!! MY CAR IS ON FIRE!!!!". Daddy casually pulled back the kitchen curtain...observed the pile of poop on fire and said..."It's just the oil...it will burn itself out...". I would pay money to have a picture of my face at that moment. Character...in the building....can I hear a "WOOP WOOP!??".

And down through the years...there have been times when I smiled to myself and was glad for character building moments....but there are other times when I felt the gravity of character building. That the weight and the seriousness of my character (or lack there of) sat on my chest like a boulder. I have to confess that one of THOSE moments came today. I could feel the tears just aching to come out and I could feel my throat trying to close up...but I thankfully also leaned right back into the arms of my 39 years of experience with people and situations and into my friend, Jesus. I'm telling you...this guy really knows how to stick beside His sister.

I can't share all of it with you...blogs aren't private....but I walked into a situation today where clearly there is serious hate and tension. Some of the hate is towards me. Hate that has been winning victory over the heart of a "once-upon-a-time" friend.....and she was inwardly thrilled that when I walked in...people turned their backs. But, I WILL say that the root of all of this is not worthy of my time. I spoke up 3 months ago to something that I believed in and I still do...and because I spoke up and shed light on something, hate began to grow. Hate loathes the thought of not spreading and increasing. It is kudzu.

Character building is essential. If you don't have any or yours is questionable...start building today. It is only constructed one brick at a time and it is never too late to lay down your blueprint and get to it.

In 7th grade I went to a birthday party and the hostess was ugly to me...I did not falter...one of the first bricks laid. In 8th grade I was shunned by a friend who had a party...and then later invited me out of guilt...I politely declined...brick laid. Throughout high school and college I painfully laid, cried over, prayed about and even agonized to God and friends over situation after situation...bricks that were laid with tears and mortar and God's grace....I could have never known how each of those pieces would protect me.

I suppose I have a point...even though I am slow getting to it.

Today I really realized that when my mom said "You are building character." that the reason she didn't elaborate was because there was no way she could begin to place on our hearts and our lives the weight of those words. That character is only built with time....her character building experiences probably would not be my character building experiences. My station wagon caught on fire (I say that with clinched teeth!!) and she was sent away at 17 to live on her own. My station wagon had me lay one brick....her "cast away" had her lay a hundred bricks. And some of the bricks we lay are secret. I have those. But they have become a part of my fortress. The fortress that I look at now and say..."Oh, yeah...I remember YOU....". My character....wow.

So...my point is this. No experience is wasted...no hurt is ignored by God...no time that you experience the power of God taking your hand and helping you lay a piece of yourself down is wasted. ALL of that is for His glory...all of that builds your fortress that you will ultimately lay as a gift at His feet...and all of that represents the earthly character that you share with the people around you. I am so thankful....right this very second...that my station wagon caught on fire and that Pam's mom was mean to me in the 7th grade, that Mike broke up with me and left me standing there like an idiot and that my mom had the wisdom to not explain herself when she talked about character.