4380 Days

Right now I am sitting in my quiet kitchen...drinking coffee...watching the evening news at 5:00am. That's what happens when you live in Deutschland and want American news...you get to wait until morning to see what everyone else got to ignore at 5pm in the States. I used to ignore it...but not anymore. I gotta know what's going on with my "peeps" on the other side of the Atlantic...which brings me back to this rather chilly kitchen, warm cup of coffee, Katie Couric on the telly...I remember this day SO clearly 12 years ago. Well...not Katie...she was still on "Today"...but that's beside the point. More precisely, I have really been looking back ,...4380 days ago.

I was 27 years old...John was 28...Andrew was 2 years old...Catherine was unborn.
The day before was stupid crazy. STUPID CRAZY and I remember running into our apartment at lunchtime...grabbing something to eat and in walks my sweet hubby. I said, "I have an OB appointment...you don't have to go..." (I was perfecting the martar role.) He said, "No, I want to go with you." (Famous last words...) and off we went...I was busy, the baby wasn't due for 3 weeks and I needed to get back to Darmstadt. Rush rush rush into the appointment when it ll came to a screeching halt...the doctor said, "Well...you are in labor...how do you feel?"

HOW DO I F-E-E-L? Ummmm....rushed....that's how I feel. So, because I am so incredibly wise and apparently have a secret degree in Obstetrics, I told him that I would go home (1 hour away) and come back when my water broke. What a sweet man - he didn't blink an eye - he said, "Okay...(he backs away from the exam table and looks at his nurse)...that's fine with me. Nurse, can you grab the 'autobahn birthing kit'? Mrs. Harris is going to go home and on her way home she's going to need to deliver the baby." What must my face have looked like??? ***click*** I just took a picture for you...it's just so funny...this moment frozen in my mind. Do I really have to tell you that I didn't leave? Okay...I understand that YOU may not have had your coffee yet...so, just for you, I didn't leave.

Fast forward to 5am the next morning. After a terribly sleepless night - I can't imagine why - I made the command decision to fully wake up. And this brings me to the evening news because it was on, the air was cool and I was so full of thoughts I could barely breathe. After cleaning up, changing every piece of clothing on my body, washing my face, brushing my hair and (please forgive me...I was 27...) putting my make-up back on, I was ready to have a baby. But, the darndest thing....I had no pain...not a smidgen...not a morsel...not even a hint that I was having a baby. Hmmmm.

Remember, I am a genius. And so because I am so smart, I called my friends at around 6am because they wanted an update (I had to waddle down the hall...no phones in the rooms) and said, please don't forget I know everything at this moment, "These guys don't know what they are talking about, I don't even feel like I'm in labor. I'll probably be home a little later." God, please hold your laughter. It's very loud in my itty bitty human ears.

Catherine was born fast...around 8:00am. What a shock. And, when she was born I almost jumped off of that little birthing table when they told me she was a GIRL! The nurses caught me...they were good nurses with quick reflexes.

My girl. There are no words that I can write that would embrace my heart at that moment. I gave birth to my girl...oh, Jesus...thank you...from the bottom of my heart...thank you. Catherine Elizabeth...sugar in human form.

She is upstairs, still asleep...she is almost 12. 2 more hours until it's official. Right on the cusp of teens...womanhood....life. Oh, dear, my heart is squeezed again.