I was THINKING this morning about moving. The funny thing is that I NEVER gave it much thought while I was growing up. We just didn't move...ever...it was an unzipped, foreign topic for mysterious people. My mind was smaller then. I never even thought of "moving on" or "moving away" from anything. I was just me...a girl in Kentucky...trying to figure out geometry and boys. But, today, I took up the topic of moving after I read an email from a dear friend. After I read her words I just thought about her......and moving......away from pain. And, then (because apparently I am an "over thinker" by nature...) I started thinking about all of the moving people do in a life time and that if you aren't moving...you are just a stagnet pool of sad, pitiful water that mosquitos like to lay eggs in...SEE??? Over Thinking....which we should really call "excessive reasoning"...it makes me sound smarter.
So, if you have the time...(both of you faithful readers of my thoughts! Hi, Katherine! Hi, Momma!) grab a cup of coffee, preferably in a jumbo mug, and let's chat about this topic of "moving"...shall we?
In our lives we just have about as many ways to move as we do days. I'm surprised by this. I guess I lived such a sweetly shetered childhood that I never experienced the joys and woes of moving...the closest I came to moving was moving on from one lost love to the next "soon-to-be" lost love.
As an army wife I have physically moved my house from 1) mom and dad's to Augusta, Georgia 2) Georgia to Germany 3) crappy apartment in Germany to less crappy apartment 4) Germany to Georgia 5) Georgia apartment to my first house 6) Georgia house to Charlottesville, VA 7) Virginia to West Point, NY and (wave your hands in the air and say, "Everybody in the house!!!") 8) NY to Germany. I swear..I am going in circles. Physically moving is two things - moving all of your earthly crud and moving your heart. I have learned to swallow hard and say "good-bye" to friends, say "good-bye" to furniture and say "good-bye" to the place where memories are made. Physically moving is tough...and cleansing....and gives you perspective. You realize very quickly that you MAKE a home, you don't BUY a home.
Moving on is hard for me. I'm a fan of the "soapbox"....what's that?...you have your own? Mine is heavy and yet I carry that thing around everywhere. I found a picture of one for you. Behold...the soap box. Not my box or my boots.
One day I went to see my sister, Elizabeth. I was going on and on and on and on and on and on and on about something. She was so polite for about 10 minutes....looked at her watch and said in a very non-judgemental way, "Okay, I tell ya what. I am going to give you 15 more minutes to talk about this and after that we have to talk about something else." MOVE ON, SISTER! She was nice about it but it made me realize that I tended to YAMMER....yes, yammer. MOVE ON...pack your boxes and find a new topic.
Moving forward...easy to say when your tires aren't the ones completely buried in the muck. How many times have you listened to someone talk about a past love - past job - past situation - past happiness - past sorrow - past shame - past achievement - past beauty - past childhood - past motivation - past dreams....oh, gosh...I could go on forever, and you just want to go grab their tires and be that tractor that pulls them out of the rut? I've wanted to be a tractor...but I've also been the one who needed to be pulled out. Move forward...be a Lewis and Clark in your own life...discover the undiscovered.
Move out...don't live with your parents too long...never stay in an abusive relationship...know when enough is enough...like right now...I'm going to stop typing about this...
Moving through...just say, "I hear ya!"...because some things you have to move THROUGH....it's like the rhyme I used to say in Kindergarten, "You can't go under it, you can't go around it, you can't climb over it...you have to go THROUGH it..." One option...take a deep breath and ask God to go first. Weather that storm, baby! It makes the warm breezes and bright sunshine on the other side even sweeter. I can honestly say I am my own leading authority on this topic...because I live in Germany. You cannot imagine the doom and gloom weather that hangs over us MUCH of the time....and then............just when you least expect it (we have no real weather reports so ALL weather is a gift waiting to be opened....) THE SUN SHINES! And every German within a 200 mile radius comes out and enjoys it.....seriously....EVERY GERMAN......because they know that every drop is to be enjoyed and every bit of rejuvination it offers is an offering from heaven. The sun would not be half as amazing if it shone every day.....because it is precious....it is cherished. Go THROUGH the storm and enjoy the reprieve on the othe side with zeal!
Moving back...I tend to give of myself in abundance. And, then it freaks me out because everything is put out there for the world to see....so stepping back is a neccesity - the only option for me. But, as I was thinking about this, something occured to me. Maybe instead of picturing myself backing away like you would from dog poo or a swarm of angry bees...I truly believe it's more like moving back, like a painter, who has been so busy mixing the images and colors and emotions that she needs a second to see the creation. And so...she moves back away from the canvas and thoughtfully appraises her work...and takes as long as she needs to begin to paint again.
I know you can't tell how long I have been saving and revisiting this particular blog entry...so...just for you I am going to tell you it has been a couple of weeks and I have really been filled with topics about moving. I suppose it just proves that our lives were meant to be active and alive and always changing and moving. I love that. Maybe today YOU can move....I'm not sure what your options are or how you NEED to move but I can bet that you have a desire to stretch or pull back or grab a box...MOVE, honey!
Get out there and wiggle!
1 comment:
I actually have a lot to say about this (because I too overthink), but because I just physically moved and got WAY behind in school, it's exam week, and my children are insane (or is that their mother), I'm going to have to wait on it. In the meantime, just remember sometimes I can be your tractor and sometimes you can be mine! I love you!
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