Vacuum Packed....

For the next minute, look at the following pictures and see if you know what they have in common.

Did you catch it? No? Hmmmm.....I forgive you because before last night at 11:00pm - I never knew a connection exsisted. Let's just file the following story under

"You can't make this stuff up!"

Don't be alarmed but my "almost 90 year old" Grandmother fell and broke a very crucial bone in her neck. My mom was on a much needed trip with girlfriends and had to RUSH home to assist her Dad...who is also an antique....and therefore....let the interesting stories begin.

Momma is concerned that her parents are not eating correctly so she is offering to make whatever they are hungry for....make it healthy and deliver it hot. She is a testimony to honoring your parents - hear me - she needs an award because these two, while being the people who gave her life, have also given her much grief. Enough said. Momma has been cooking for two old people, one of whom has a broken neck. Please feel free to put her on your prayer list.

Yesterday my Grandfather handed Momma 3 "rotten" bananas. He wants some banana nut bread and hates for things to go to waste....which brings me to the next special ingredient....walnuts. I shall pause here.

My Mom loves nuts. I would not call her a nut expert - a nut connisseur - a nut inspector or even a nut fanatic - but Girlfriend knows her nuts. She even offered to use nuts from her private stock in the Banana Nut Bread....but my Grandfather had nuts and he was not letting her use her own. So he gave her a few....on a napkin...because nuts apparently are used as currency where he is from and therfore extremely valuable. Without hesitation my Mom popped a walnut into her unsuspecting mouth.

It burned....it broke into 1000 pieces and stuck into her teeth and rolled on her tongue and continued to burn. My mom loves to use the word, "RANCID"....so last night when she was telling me this story....she said, "Right away I could tell it was rancid."

Rancid: having a rank, unpleasant, stale
smell or taste, as through decomposition, esp. of fats or
oils:

Decomposition.....hmmmmm......

Mom, who normally does not not grill her antique Korean War, WW2 and Vietnam Conflict veteran father, said, "DADDY!!! HOW OLD ARE THOSE NUTS???"

His answer: "They were vacuum packed."

Mom: "How old are they?"

Poppa: "They were vacuum packed."

Mom: "Where did you get the nuts? How old are they?"

Please brace yourself. Go ahead, sit down...get your questions ready...

My grandfather bought the walnuts at an Air Force Commissary in....here it comes...

1943.

Should I wait for you? Do you want to lie down? Would you like to submit your questions, comments or letters of "WHY?" by snail mail OR email OR by phone? I'm flexible, do what you need to do.

Poppa bought them in bulk and either

a) Lost them and recently found them.

b) Saved them to torture my Momma with.

c) Bought a whole heck of a lot of nuts in '43.

d) ALL of the above

Help me understand why he has nuts that are 66 years old.

HELP ME.

They should have turned to dust by now...wait....they were vacuum packed. My Mom swallowed one...should I plan her funeral? Seriously - snap a picture of your face - I gotta see how this has affected you.

I thought about the nut and took a picture....are we on the same page here?

UPDATE!! UPDATE!! UPDATE!! (June 23, 2009) Remember that precious hunk of a compost pile that I married? Okay...don't say "no"...it was just a couple of posts back...He is at it again! John read the blog right after I posted it.....and said NOTHING. NOTHING, I tell you....and then 3 days later he said, "It couldn't have been 1943. Your grandfather landed in Normandy in 1944...he couldn't buy walnuts in the middle of a war." Oh, gee...honey...thank you. SO....I correct myself. I all of my excitement and crazy thoughts about THE WALNUT....I gave you the wrong date. They bought the walnuts in 1946. They are indeed ONLY 43 years old. Yummy yummy in my tummy.

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: Good Lord...I must be a big fat liar! Mom called me...on my cell phone yesterday to ask if I would be mad if she made a "tiny correction" to the blog. Nope...not mad....correct away.....SO HERE WE GO....

Apparently these nuts from WW2 were left over from the K-Rations. So....just so we are clear...they are still senior citizen nuts. They CAN receive Social Security. However, my grandparents (who I sincerely hope never ever ever ever ever read this blog....) did not by the nuts until "the 60's". I said to mom..."MOM, that's crazy. Why would the commissary at Wright Patterson Air Force Base sell nuts that are now 20 plus years old???" And she said, "THEY WERE VACUUM PACKED!!!!" I am such a great blog title chooser. Yep...we are back to the theme of thinking that sucking the air out of something makes them immortal!!! And so, to clarify once and for ALL, the nuts are from the 40's.....they were purchased in the 60's....my grandparents have moved around the world with them in tow....my mom ate one...and now she may or may not die from ancient nut poisoning. I said "MAY OR MAY NOT"....we are not certain. Momma...I love you.