Because families are constantly moving around in the military, the schools here do not assume ANYTHING. Every year you have to round up your "Seriously, we belong here!" paperwork and re-register your babies for school. Next year - we will have children in ALL 3 SCHOOLS! Oh, my good gracious - how did this nonsense happen??? I KNEW they would grow up...this stinks!
So, yesterday, with a million papers in hand, I headed out to the 3 schools to register the kids. First stop - HIGH SCHOOL. I parked the car......walked slowly up to the....um....which door do I go into? Oh, poo...where is the front office? Why do I suddenly feel insecure? Okay, here is A door (so confusing!) and A hallway....where the heck is the office?? Is it hot in here?? Darn, I can't pass for a student anymore (blasted sun damage from the 80's!!!) and wait...is this a CLOSET? Where am I , for REAL!? Alrighty then...I'll turn around and try not to look lost. I feel fat and old...stop it...you are fine....this is nuts....ANYONE could walk in here and take over this place....but they would be lost....like me....and then give up and leave....OH!! A student. "Hi, there! Can you tell me where the front office is??"
Eye roll....brief snicker...."Umm....yeah.....ummmmm.....you go down there....like at the end of the hall....and it's the last door on the left....can you kinda see it??" "Yes...thank you..." Geez....
"Hi, I'm here to register my son Andrew for the 9th grade." (In my head I have started to sob ...)
"Okay...I need your extension orders and you are going to need to sign a BUNCH of stuff."
"That's fine" (Uncontrollable sobbing...beating my chest....screaming "THIS IS HAPPENING TOO SOON!!!!!)
And I begin to sign........and sign........and sign....flip the pages and sign.....and cry in my little world in my brain.....and sign and.......ummmmmmmmm.......WHAT THE HOLY MOLY CRAP IS THIS???? The "Teen Clinic" form. Specifically NUMBER FOUR....
"Do you give the Teen Clinic permission to treat or council your student about sexual intercourse, sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy?" Huh? Are you asking me about MY child? What kind of brothel are you running around here? Oh, Lord...take my hand...seriously...TAKE it...I'm about to faint....onto the floor....
"Ummmm....this is a harsh question...."
"Yeah...most parents stop there and everyone has the same funny look on their face....like you do."
"Oh......I guess this is necessary...."
The registrar: "YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!"
Oh, my gosh....oh, my gosh....oh, my gosh....I can't breathe....
I signed it with a little side note....."We are very open with Andrew about any question or problem he has. Please encourage him to talk with his parents if he comes in for any sexual issues."
Please, Lord...can you help me get back to my car?
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